Why Your Kid Might Sit the Bench (and What Club Volleyball Coaches Are Not Telling You)

You paid the fee. You drove to the tournament. You sat in a folding chair for six hours watching everyone else’s kid play while yours cheered from the sideline.

Welcome to the part of club volleyball nobody talks about at tryouts.

Here Is the Uncomfortable Truth

Club volleyball is a business. Coaches play the players they trust to win — not the players whose families paid the same amount. Nobody tells you this at the parent meeting.

And yes, politics are real. A USAV parent described watching a club coach select multiple players from his own club for a regional USAV team over clearly more talented athletes from other clubs. It happens. More than anyone wants to admit.

Why Playing Time Changes Mid-Season

You notice rotations look different. Your six-rotation player is suddenly subbing out after two points. No explanation. No conversation.

Here is what is probably happening: the coach sees something in practice you do not see. Maybe it is defensive positioning. Maybe it is effort in drills. Maybe it is something fixable. But coaches rarely communicate this directly to parents because “the car ride conversation” has gone badly for them one too many times.

What Actually Works

Before you march over to the coach after a match, try this: ask your athlete to have the conversation themselves. A simple “What can I focus on to earn more playing time?” goes further than any parent confrontation ever will.

If the coach cannot give a clear answer — not “keep working hard” but an actual specific skill to improve — that tells you something.

One thing that overrides all of this: if you suspect real abuse — verbal or physical — do not follow any advice about being patient. Get your kid out. Immediately.

The Harsh Reality

Playing time is not guaranteed. You are paying for the opportunity to develop, not for minutes on the court. If the coach is good and your kid is learning, the bench can still be valuable. If the coach is bad and your kid is miserable, the price does not matter anymore.